Living Real Value

By Caroline Hendley

For me it is about living real value.  In whatever I do, experience or participate in, within I see what is of real value and put my attention there.  For example, there is much going on at work and  some days there is lots of stress.  I see old, familiar ways to respond to the stress, and I also see I don’t have to react in that way. I see the real value and opportunity is to be something more and to express from there.

That more is stillness.  It’s that little gem or light underneath everything that is always there regardless of what is going on above it.  I can more and more recognize that stillness, even though  my mind or emotions may prompt me to go somewhere else.

No Need to Change Anything About Myself

Being with John de Ruiter, I recognize  that I don’t have to change anything about myself.  Once I really believe that and touch into that, there is a freedom, complete freedom.  And that actually changes everything.

When I first started being in meetings with John I had a picture of what a ‘spiritual’ person should be like, and it wasn’t me.  Now I realize it’s not like that at all.   It doesn’t look like, speak, eat or drink like anything in particular. That gives me the freedom to simply be what I am.

Another thing I’ve recognized and love is lightness.  I see being the stillness, being what I know is underneath everything else in me, only works if I am light in this. If I’m heavy it doesn’t work. I mean being real and serious, but light at the same time.  And being totally okay when I screw it all up, because I do.

Developing My Relationship with Me

Lately in meetings, John speaks often about relationships.  I’m not currently in a relationship, so the way I relate to that is to apply what he says to my relationship within, with me.  Whatever he says to couples about relating, there is always a way to see how that applies to my relationship within.  If I get it right within, with myself, then I’m doing okay.

Last year I went through a period where there were lots of thoughts about relationship: am I avoiding it, or should I be and blah blah blah.  I had all this stuff in my head.  I talked with John about it, and he helped me pull apart the pieces and understand it better.  The best part was asking for his help and sharing that I was stuck. I hadn’t done that before on a personal level.  And asking was good, it opened things up.  I’d never done that sort of reaching before and that was beneficial, beneficial on a personal level.  It was practical in that the response from John helped me sort out a practical, everyday issue, while at the same time showed me that being ‘real’ includes everything.

John encourages living on your cutting edge.  I took on producing the New Year’s Eve Show for our community.  My life is busy, I do lots and am very functional in the world.  My cutting edge opportunity in the show is to produce it from a real place; be practical and productive while not losing touch with the why, the light, the gem inside.  It’s easy for me to be functional, but keeping a thread to what is deeper and meaningful
at the same time is my challenge and my real potential.

John de Ruiter Helps Me Find My Way

To John I would say what I appreciate most is that he helps me find my way, and let me find my way.  Helps when I need it and lets me figure or not figure it out sometimes.  It is a very gentle holding that John expresses. I’ve had a real sense of being held in moving through my issues and my life.

Also, I appreciate and thank all the people in the community.  I see the value of everyone here and how much they contribute and support each other.  What is given by each helps all of us.  We bring all our differences,  strengths, weaknesses, everyone’s piece comes together into one.  Like the New Year’s Eve Show, lots of different pieces  come together into a great show, an amazing production, at the end of the year.

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